A Christmas Update

I am one final small purchase away from having my Christmas shopping done. Assuming a blizzard doesn’t strike in the middle of the night, my shopping will officially be complete sometime tomorrow. While I don’t have complete records of the last 28 years, this will probably mark the earliest end to my Christmas shopping in at least twelve years. That’s about as long as I’ve been able to go shopping without having to have someone drive me to the store. That means tomorrow will involve some Christmas music, a pair of scissors, lots of Scotch tape and a large roll of Hallmark wrapping paper (I bought the “Mega Roll” for large packages this year). Oh how I love Christmas!

Now that I work for a package delivery company, I don’t really get a chance to enjoy the holidays like I used to and it tends to turn shopping into a more deliberate activity for me – one that I have to work hard to set aside time for in order to get it done. While in the past, my procrastination has been a product of my “wait until the mood strikes and the right gift inspires” philosophy, I am now a slave to my schedule. This year, I’ve relied on Starbucks more than any other year in the past to get me through the traffic, the crowds, and the cheerfully untempered frustrations of my fellow procrastinators. Caffeine tends to put me in a more cheerful and playful mood and thus left me with these otherwise unmemorable memorable moments from this year’s shopping experience:

1. I approached the checkout counter in a Hallmark store with all of my desired items ready for purchase. There was a woman at the counter (itemless) inquiring about an item that happened to be on a shelf a few steps from the counter. She retrieved the item, I stepped forward and she turned around back toward the counter expecting her spot back at checkout. While the wheels in my head were already turning towards giving her the spot, I’m not sure that’s a situation where the spot was hers as she had assumed. If that item hadn’t been directly behind her but instead say at the back of the store, would she have assumed I would wait while she walked all the way to the back of the store and then returned to the checkout counter before I proceeded with my purchase? I certainly hope not, because I wouldn’t have.

2. Shopping with others ceases to be a good idea at a rate that decreases exponentially as you add people. Last weekend, there were three of us. We went to two stores, a Five Guys, and a movie and headed back to base with a total of one gift purchased. Today I started my shopping around 2 p.m. as part of a duo and we went to three stores, a Starbucks (of course), a cookie shop and headed back to base with a total of one gift purchased. I set out on my own at 4:30 p.m. and visited 8 stores, bought twenty-five items, picked up some dinner and was home by 8. Okay, so that doesn’t exactly add up to an exponential decrease, but you get my point. If you want to get your shopping done, go alone.

3. Think of what seems like a reasonably low number but really isn’t and then double it. This is the kind of math I have to do every year when I dream up a Christmas budget and then add it all up when I get home. I think I have emotional issues related to Christmas that maybe I’ll explore at a later time.

4. Getting the wrong size is only a big deal on clearance items. If you’re expecting a gift from me this year, keep that in mind!

5. I was specifically told not to get gift cards for someone (per that someone’s request). Well, then said someone needs to start making more specific Christmas lists! In the absence of speficity, recipients will receive gifts that I will want to borrow in the very near future!

6. I had a hard time filling out my own Christmas list this year. Two reasons: a) I haven’t gone “window shopping” in a while and wasn’t hearing any particular call from anything and b) I don’t have a lot of self-control and just pretty much buy myself everything I want anyway. Well if you’ll be expecting a list from me next year you’re in luck because today’s fun solved (a) and (3) above solved (b).

7. I made a spreadsheet (shocker!) and without really even paying attention to it, I did a pretty good job of balancing how much I spent on the various levels of heirarchy on my Christmas list. Does anyone else approach Christmas shopping like this (minus the dorky spreadsheet, of course, which I’ll admit is filled with SUMIF formulas)?

8. My phone started ringing while I was in a store and so I started walking towards some open space to answer it where I would be out of the way. The open space happened to be on the way to the door and there was a salesperson nearby who told me to have a nice day. I had already accepted the call on my phone and was bringing it to my ear to say hello when I heard the farewell. Wanting to explain I wasn’t leaving without confusing my caller, I waved my hand while mumbling something unrecognizable even to a baby. One of those rare moments when you can confuse two birds with one uttered stone.

9. Somewhat related trivia question: If you were asked “What are the top 10 most played/performed Christmas songs over the last 5 years” what would you say?

I was trying to come up with ten, but I’m tired of the world being so deci-dominated. I’m only going to add more if I remember them in groups of two.