This Is the Way We Roll

Okay, I know you’ve all been dying for an explanation of the non-sense that precedes this post and so I’m gonna take a break from my vacation to try to make some sense out of it. Trust me, though when I say that the explanation will a) not at all redeem whatever humor I thought there was and b) be quite anti-climactic.

According to Amazon.com, M.C. Hammer – one of the greatest rappers of our time – released the album Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em circa February of 1990. As you may or may not be well aware of, this was quite a popular album spawning such classic forgttable hits as “Yo!! Sweetness”, “Have You Seen Her”, “Pray” and the ubiquitous “U Can’t Touch This”. You might remember the album cover containing the following laid-back, totally cool pose from Mr. Hammer:

While certainly less-than-noteworthy at the time, that infamous picture would rear its ugly head years later when my boy Travis was viewing some pre-ceremony from a wedding we recently attended. I don’t know if I have the correct copyrights and or permissions to share the picture of the groom with you, but consider a much lighter skinned – perhaps white even – male, with only slightly smaller framed glasses posing almost exactly like Mr. Hammer, right down to the angle of the lean.

So Travis and I are actually friends of the bride and so in discussing this picture with her via email the question came up as to how the comparison stuck out so glaringly to Travis. In fact, I think her words were “How did he know that, did he have that CD laying around or something?”. In Travis’ defense, if the situation merits defending, if I had seen the picture I might have made the comparison myself, simply because that album was so iconic. But I digress.

Having lived with Travis, I thought it might be fun to make up a story about how he listened to that CD non-stop and then I got this vision in my head of Travis walking around his room saying “you can’t touch this”, but instead of him actually saying it he would point to something every time Hammer repeated “U can’t touch this”. I think it’s funny because I know Travis and its something he might almost do if he thought of it and it’d be hilarious if he did.

That’s it. That long explanation for a quote that probably just needed some sort of setup or perhaps didn’t need to be quoted at all. I didn’t want to quote myself so I left it anonymous and I didn’t really know how to set it up and I just figured all the required context was there. Oh, and the title. The title was just a line from “Pray”. I suppose it only added to the confusion but I didn’t want to be so obvious as to title the post “U Can’t Touch This”.

Through it all, I am glad to say that lessons were learned: Never again shall I share such silly fabrications; don’t assume your audience knows too much about your plot or your characters; and never, ever under any circumstances mock the greatness that is 2 legit 2 quit.