Repeatedly of Ill Repute
Someone much smarter than myself might enlighten me on the origins of the words reputation and repetition. They might know for sure that it is no coincidence their alpha-composition differs by only 2 letters and that each implies a consistency of something, in my case character. You see, because I have a history of repetitive abandon, I have a reputation for not following through; I say I’ll be there or I’ll do this and then I won’t go or I’ll do that instead. And of course it’s not intentional, I don’t commit to something with malice, knowing full well that I won’t do what I say I’ll do. But that doesn’t make it okay. And it doesn’t make it okay that my intentions are actually good, that if someone asks me to do something or to be somewhere, that I genuinely want to be there. It’s not okay that I think, “well maybe that’ll be too much, but I’ll just figure it out later”. Maybe part of being a good friend involves some forethought to go along with that compulsion. I don’t know, maybe that sounds too much like I’m some ill-fated saint in constant turmoil with too much goodheartedness.
I know that isn’t the case.
I guess what I’m really trying to figure out isn’t so much time management, it’s self-management. How do you balance spiritual health with relational health with familial health with physiological health with psychological health? Are they all related? Can I have spiritual health without relational health? Can I have relational health without psychological health? Is my psychological health correlated with my physiological health? Can familial health really be salvaged? Just kidding.
Okay, so I’m talking in circles. At least I’m talking. Err typing. Did you like it the old way better, you know with the absent silence?