Occasionally I find myself among the lingering patrons just before closing time at any one of a number of my neighboorhood Arnes & Oble Ookstores. And like my fellow patrons, I am often without a time keeping device that alerts me in five minute intervals that the Arnes & Oble closing time is drawing near. Fortunately, the fine folks at Arnes & Oble have assigned one of their friendly customer service representatives the oble task of Evening PA Announcer. "Attention Arnes & Oble customers," the PA Announcer begins with only a slight hint of urgency, "the time is now 10:45 and the store will be closing in 15 minutes. Please begin bringing your items to the front to check out. For your shopping convenience, the store will open at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning. Thank you."

But wait a minute. Back the truck up there for a second. Did you say for my shopping convenience? Because it seems to me that my shopping convenience would be for you to let me take as long as I'd like to pick out my selections now, because I'm here now, and you are here now, and I don't want to leave and then come back to finish this transaction. You see, that is inconvenient for me. But I understand that it is inconvenient for you to stay and wait for me to make up my mind, do I really need to buy America: The Book or can I wait? Should I just put it on my Christmas list or drop subtle hints in a blog post? Do I want paperback or hardback? No, Mr. PA Announcer, it really is not convenient for you to await my decision but nor is it very kind of you to suggest that it is my convenience to, by coincidence and coincidence only, quell your inconvenience. No, no, no. Your suggestion of the confluency of our competing conveniences will not stand.