Earlier, I took some time to take in and enjoy this pleasant springtime summer evening. Unfortunately, I believe during this time I suffered a severe bug bite, and while I didn't get a good look at the bug I am almost positive it was some sort of honesty bug because that is the only way to explain why I'm about the divulge the following information: I read dork books. Not just any dork books like say a biography about Alexander Hamilton or an exhaustive history of North Carolina pirates from the days before pirates hijacked cruise ships with machine guns. No, when I walk into the local neighborhood bookstore, I immediately head for the section with book titles such as The Zen of CSS Design, PHP Cookbook, or my personal favorite, PHP Bible - yes there's the King James, Eugene Peterson's The Message, New International Version, and ... PHP.

And this is all fine and dandy, my friends make fun of me as they head for the history section, the kid's section, or even the bargain section to look at all the various dog encyclopedias that are only rivaled by Britannica and World Book in their vast wealth of information. But this is not what bothers me. What bothers me is that the books that I like to glance at just so happen to be associated with an industry rife with homebrew "consulting" companies - companies whose trade magazines must run monthly reviews citing bookstore recruiting as the #1 recruiting tactic over all others such as putting an ad on Craigslist, or in the local paper, or something like that. "If you want to grow your business," the article will say, "your search must start in the web design/programming section at your local bookstore. That's where you'll find the village idiot".

And I don't mean that as an insult to those who try to run legitimate, successful homebrew "consulting" web (or whatever it is you do, I've never bothered to check it out) companies. Well not totally anyway, I mean you're entitled to earn your living however you see fit as long as you're not imposing on anyone else's rights. It's just that, I know what you're trying to do, and you know I know what you're trying to do, so we can all just stop pretending that you're trying to pull the proverbial wool over my eyes and let me get on with my book glancing. Don't pretend you're impressed with my engineering degree - it's not a Nobel prize - just hand me your home-printed business card, complete with clip-art logo and let me decide for myself if it's something that's worth checking out. No, though I try to take nothing for granted in this fickle economy, I'm not worried that the nearly century old shipping company I work for is going out of business anytime soon. Yes, I will politely take your card, glance at it and then promptly throw it away. Yes, I understand you're just trying to earn a living, but, you see, I was just trying to read a book and nothing about my responses to your very loaded questions would lead any reasonable person to believe I was the slightest bit interested in joining your pyramid - err I mean company.

Out of the encounters like the one I experienced earlier today, a pattern of irrational thought develops inside my head. You see, after politely answering this kind gentleman's questions for about ten minutes I hastily searched for a safer section, one without any false sense of potential financial boon or success. And as I glanced through the art books looking for design ideas, I thought, "why can't the dork books be intermingled in the art section or cooking or religion? I mean most of them already have the appropriate titles like PHP Bible and PHP Cookbook." When I emerge from my peeve-induced choma, I realize that this would lead to chaos, undermining the very fabric that holds together our book buying experience. Yes, it would be nice to avoid the stereotypes and generalizations that are applied as you make your way through the various sections that interest you. But with so many millions of books in the world, how would any of us find what we are looking for? In the process of trying to keep these would-be solicitors from finding what they are looking for, the joy and convenience in everyone else's search falls into a discombobulated sea of books and periodicals.

I do not have a solution, it is a problem that vexes me - I am terribly vexed. But one thing's for sure, the next time I'm at a drug store, I'm gonna pick up a can of Off!