Watch out "Package", here we come!

The way Christmas worked when I was growing up is that Mom would buy all of our gifts, wrap them and then a few days before Christmas we'd pack it all in the car and drive up to my grandparents' house in Maryland. Looking back, I realize that I was a little behind on the whole looking around the house and around every corner type of curiosity that plagues most kids, but I certainly wasn't above anxious curiosity entirely. No, I was the kind of child that liked to take the dangerous approach, the slight tearing of a corner of the giftwrap in the backseat during the car ride up to grandma's. Sometimes I didn't even need to tear the paper, I just had to lift a flap here or there and get a tiny glimpse of the package and I knew what it was. And I'll tell you, I was actually quite sly about it all, the only problem is I have this uncanny ability to tell everyone I'm lying about something without actually telling them. They see it in my eyes and in my child like expressions and, well, that's why I don't play poker.

One year, my Mom caught me and threatened to give the gifts to my cousin. It hurt her so much because part of the excitement of giving a gift is knowing exactly what a person wants and then seeing their reaction when they finally get it. And I took that away from her. Of course, after I apologized and promised never to do it again, she forgave me and I enjoyed my pocket rocker and tiny tunes for a long time. After that year I gave up on tearing away corners and resorted to poking around the house like every other kid.

Though I've grown less anxious around Christmas, I think I'm seeing a lot of my younger self in my relationship with God. There are all of these little blessings and opportunities that He wants to give me, but the timing has to be right and He asks me to wait. And just like as a kid I knew I had to wait until Christmas day to actually have my presents, I know that I have to wait for the blessings that God wants to give me. But I still have that curiosity and that strong desire to know what it is that God wants to give me. And so I ask Him to give me a glimpse. I tell Him that I know He may not be ready to give it to me right now, but if He could just give me a sign and show me what He has in store for me, well that'd make everything a whole lot easier. But if He tells me ahead of time, then I won't have the appropriate reaction when I actually receive His gifts. And the reaction, I've learned, is the blessing within a blessing. Whether its a reaction of worship, praise, faithfulness, love, adoration, service, action or surprise the point of it all is God's love and it hurts Him if we don't react the right way.

A couple of years after I was caught peeking my mom played me perfectly. All year I had been asking for a computer but my mom kept telling me that she didn't have enough money. On the trip up to Maryland, I didn't notice any boxes that could possibly have a computer in it, unless it was one of those advanced talking spelling computers. I hate to admit it, but I was pretty bummed about not getting a computer; So bummed, in fact, that when I woke up the next morning and saw large packages sitting under the tree I honestly thought I had gotten a stereo. And then, when I unwrapped one of the boxes, there stood a brand spankin new Tandy computer. I've never asked my mom how she felt when she saw me open that present, but I imagine it made her about as excited as I was ... maybe even more. So now, whenever I go to God asking Him to give me a glimpse - just a little peek, I try to think about how getting that peek might ruin my reaction. I put my trust in Him and tell Him, "No, scratch that. Let's do this on your schedule. I don't want to ruin the surprise."

After much thought and consideration, here it is, my Top 5 Christmas Songs of All Time ... times 2. Yes, the more and more I thunk¹ it over, the more I realized there's no way I'd be able to fit all of the wonderful, deserving Christmas songs out there into 5 slots. Instead I decided to go with a 5 & 5 ... 5 "classic" songs and 5 more contemporary songs. You may or may not agree with my categorization of some songs, but they're my lists so get over it and go make your own lists if you don't like mine.

First, some notes. If an artist is listed, then I'm referring to their specific rendition of a song. If not, then there are probably some versions I like better than others, but couldn't pick just one favorite. Maybe that's not fair, maybe it is. See above if you don't like it.

So, without further ado ...

Top 5 Classic Christmas Songs
3. Silent Night - Boyz II Men
3. A Holly Jolly Christmas - Burl Ives
1. White Christmas - Bing Crosby
5. Winter Wonderland
2. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee
4. O Holy Night - Tevin Campbell

Plus 5 Contemporary Christmas Songs (with commentary)
1. All I Want for Christmas - Mariah Carey
I'm not absolutely positive that I've heard every Christmas song written since 1985, but of the one's I've heard, this has to be the best one ... and to me the one that has the best chance of being in that first list in 20 years. It's a song about Christmas that sounds like Christmas and makes you feel like Christmas. When a song fits all three of those criteria, it qualifies as a classic and only time stands in its way of actually becoming a classic.

2. Christmas Time Again - Extreme
Some people would call them a one hit wonder, but those people probably forgot that Hole in my Heart was all over the radio that year as well. I'm not sure I can form an intellectual argument for why this is such a great Christmas song, just that I love the melody and I love what the song's about. Do we always have to have a reason for our madness?

3. Tennessee Christmas - Amy Grant
It was a tossup between this and Emmanuel from the same album. I don't know if my choosing this song over Emmanuel says something about misplaced joy at Christmas, but from a purely emotional standpoint, it was the snow that won me over. I just love the image of snow on Christmas.

4. Christmas is All Around Us - Billy Mack
The song is fictional but real and so is the singer. I guess if you haven't seen or don't enjoy Love, Actually then you aren't feelin this one.

5. I Still Believe in Santa Clause - NKOTB
This actually almost got cut until I realized I wanted to rant about how disappointed I am that Jordan Knight released an album entitled "Jordan Knight Performs New Kids on the Block". Is it ever a good idea to try to get your career to move forward by going backward? Please note that my disappointment is not in Jordan Knight, but in society for letting this happen. Being disappointed in Jordan Knight would imply that I had certain expectations of him and that implication would be wrong. Dead wrong.

5. Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late) - The Chipmunks
Okay, that Jordan Knight thing was kind of funny, but there's no way this song should be left off the list. I have this song on an LP, meaning it should probably be on the classics list, but we'll just leave it here for now.

So that's it. I may edit or add to my commentary later, but for now I think you get the general idea that (1) I'm a softy, (2) I have terrible taste in music, and (3) I stink at making lists because I get so caught up in the logic that I forget that lists are more about emotion than they are about logic. If you have to explain your list then it's not a list, it's a collection of debate topics. Also, you may not have gathered this from the list itself but it's worth noting that this actually became much more difficult than I originally imagined. I probably could have spent as much time on this list as I'm currently spending on my other list, and basically what it boils down to is I like Christmas music a whole lot more than I thought I did.

¹ Improper use of grammar intentional

Well after having been informed that "King of the Road" is, in fact, not a Christmas song¹, I find myself burdened with the unenviable task of picking a new favorite Christmas song. I realize that this actually interferes with my impending task of selecting my top 10 songs of all time, but given the season, I think you should be inclined to cut me some slack. So hopefully by the end of this weekend I'll submit my top 5 Christmas songs of all time.

On the subject of Christmas I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I love Christmas, about how much I've always loved Christmas but my reasons for loving it have changed so much over the years. It seems like a lot of people sort of go through this evolution where Christmas begins to mean something different to them than what it did as a child, and I guess that makes sense. I kinda just always thought I'd be like a big kid when I got older, but hopefully only in the good, innocent way not the selfish and greedy way.

Last year I spent a lot of time contemplating the origins of Christmas, why we celebrate it, and what it is a celebration of. Inspired by an article I read in Newsweek, I read the various accounts of the Christmas story in the Gospels, using that as a jumping off point to find my way back to the New Testament. It was a great experience for me, almost a cleansing experience to sort of rid myself of the childish selfishness that had been ingrained in me for so many years, and helped me start fresh with a new perspective on the holidays. I think by the beginning of Christmas last year I had already learned about the joy of giving, but by the end I learned about the joy of giving more than just things.

This year's experience so far has been a little bit different. Some of the things that are eliciting the most compelling emotional attachment to the season for me are more atmospheric: a brisk breeze carrying the voice of Bing or Frank or Nat King Cole, the rush of the crowd inside the store and the relative stillness of the night just beyond the sliding doors, the stars frozen in the sky by a sunless moon and the cheer that makes all the stress and worry so worth it. I like that tucked in, ready for bed feeling of a warm sweatshirt; I love the smell of hot coffee with a swirl of chocolate and whipped cream and maybe even marshmallows; I love the sound of the family bustling around the Christmas tree.

I know it may not be "spiritual" to cherish any or all of these things about Christmas - or maybe it is. Maybe all of these things have to do with our relationship with the world, and maybe God made us to be relational people. And maybe we're not supposed to cherish the world and the things in it, and maybe we aren't supposed to put our relationships with the world before our relationship with God, but we are supposed to be in relationship with the world. Otherwise, I'm not so sure I see the point.

¹ You don't understand, and I don't expect you to. It's an A-B joke so C ya later.