Today, after playing a rousing game of catch-and-throw-and-kick, E-Pa and I embarked on what I'd like to call a Suburban Safari. At the edge of the park, we discovered a man-crafted creek with a pair of bridges leading to a man made path. Our curiosity led us to the path's end, where we found some apartment/condo things with some obscurely placed "For Sale" signs.

Well this discovery only piqued our interest further, as we longed to discern the location of these apartment homes relative to the wonderful place that we call home. To our great surprise, we found the golf course which divides our home from the uncharted land of our adventure (gives new meaning to "different side of the tracks"). Before I could even realize he was gone, E-Pa was on his way, skipping across the golf course with a great big "See ya later, Sucker" smile on his face, leaving me to track my way back to my car alone and dejected.

During the long and arduous half a mile jog back to my car, I reveled in the cool warmth of the day, taking in the barren landscape as an open field of dreams. I climbed upon huge boulders big enough to crush a mouse, large land formations having a yellow colour and what looked to be the letters "CAT" somehow engraved in their ancient dirt. The banks of the flowing stream were held together by a network of burlap type fungus, which also seemed to keep the banks from closing in on each other, giving the rolling waters a place to roam.

As I sat in my car, I pondered Mother Earth's plight. I lamented her failing ozone, her proverbial sunscreen, her beach umbrella. I wept for her falling trees, for her melting ice cubes in her proverbial sweet tea. I beat my fists over the suffocating effects of carbon monoxide and clouroflourocarbons. I started my car and headed home.

Then it hit me. For all his laughing, for all his fairy-tailed (that's not a typo) galloping, I was the one with the keys. He had no way of getting in to the apartment which he arrived at so much quicker than I. And the justice in it all, because my hands were full, he had locked the door. In the end, E-Pa had locked himself out.

Two quick things:

There are currently three empty laundry detergent containers sitting by our front door, ready to be taken to their new home (presumably a local landfill), but that only cuts the number of empty laundry detergent containers in our laundry closet down by half ...

... and ...

I realize the best things in life are free, but let me add "most of the time" to that. I have a coupon book for free Jr. Frosty's from Wendy's (I'm sure you've seen em before), and after seeing the Jr. Frosty for the first time I'm beginning to think in some weird way Wendy's is actually making money off the darn things. They could have at least offered me a spoon smaller than the normal size spoon so I could get more than 2 bites out of the darn thing.

My first semester of graduate school hasn't really gone a long way in encouraging me to continue my education past a Master's Degree to get a Ph D so I'm gonna take this opportunity to try and motivate myself, by listing all the good things I could do as a doctor ...

I could join Doctors Without Borders and help sick people in other countries ...

I could move to a big city like New York or Los Angeles and raise the self-esteem of ugly people by making them look better ...

I could save a dying man on the street instead of being the guy that calls for help ...

I could perform emergency surgery on someone's cat because bein a doctor for an animal is just like bein a doctor for a person ...

I might be able to help find a cure for cancer, diabetes, AIDS, or any number of life-threatening diseases ...

I could be a pediatrician, and help children smile while giving them painful shots ...

I could ... I could ... Hmmm ... I could possibly be confused about what kind of doctor I would be with a Ph D in Industrial Engineering.

Oh, and I realize this is a little late. But instead of holding up the customary four fingers to signify the beginning of the fourth quarter, I proposed this fitting tribute to one Mr. Philip Rivers ...

(I got tired of looking at that stupid picture everytime I came around to my site ... neurotic, I know. Anyway, if for whatever reason you want to see my ode to Philip, the picture can still be found here.)

Thanks for the memories, Philip!

thedustin: (entering living room) Man, I don't know what you guys are doing watchin football when there's a Slamb..
Eric & T-Rav: (watching Slamball)
thedustin: Oh! You guys are watchin it. Awesome!

And to top it all off, the big fat tall coach for the winning team that I mistook for an over the hill former linebacker was actually Xavier McDaniel - formerly of the NBA. Apparently he's been on the Charles Barkley diet since his retirement!

Rock N Roll
Ryan Adams

I spent too much time reading instead of listening. I read everything that everyone else had to say about Ryan Adams' new cd. It was important to me to see what other people thought about it, mostly because it wasn't November 3rd and I couldn't find out for myself. But when given the opportunity to listen, I didn't. Yeah it was in my CD player, and yes I'd hear it everytime I got in my car. But the things that other people felt and said stuck in my head and I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't figure out their griping, I couldn't figure out their disgust for the record label and the *tsk tsk* towards Ryan himself for "rushing" this record under the pressure of "The Man".

Then, suddenly, an older Ryan Adams song popped into my head and I realized what all the hoopla was about ... this CD, Rock N Roll, isn't Ryan Adams. Well, at least not the Ryan Adams that everyone has grown accustomed to. I think it was always evident with this record, that it always took me two or three good listens before I could even recognize his voice on certain songs. But it didn't bother me. It doesn't bother me that this record is almost a note-by-note homage to 70's rock. Then again, I was never a huge fan of 70's rock. But haven't we always known that Ryan Adams was a rocker, that he is what rock 'n roll used to be, only he was more willing to write the "Don't Be Sads", the "New York, New Yorks", and the "Answering Bells" at the risk of separating himself from his Stonesian influence?

Presumably at the behest of his record label, Ryan Adams released a record that was less Whiskeytown and more Ryan Adams. One critic even wrote that this album missed the guitar chops of former Whiskeytown guitarist Mike Daly. This isn't a Whiskeytown record. It's Ryan Adams, or at least one side of him. This album only has one of my all-time Ryan Adams faves (almost Robert Smithian "So Alive"), but I think it's a great album. It's great to listen to on the road, in your room, anywhere ... and, more importantly, all the way through. It won't go down as my favorite Ryan Adams album, but I'm glad he made this record and I'm glad it's part of my collection.

I've laughed at the jokes and jabs too. I've read the news stories and thought "how weird". I've watched the changing face change beyond the point of recognition. But none of that can temper the uneasy feeling of watching the fall of the person you grew up idolizing. Yes, I find it comical to tell people that I am a fan of Michael Jackson. Comical because I know that sometimes people need to feel comfortable laughing at me, not because I'm joking.

Sometimes you can't explain why you're drawn to certain people. But as long as I can remember Michael Jackson has been the man in my eyes. I'm not the biggest fan. I don't even own a copy of Off the Wall. But I've eagerly anticipated every new album, every new project, every new televised performance, with each announced delay only fanning the flames of my anticipation.

But the days of pop idolatry are over for me. Michael Jackson's star has finally fallen. For some - well, let's be honest, for most - of the world MJ's star died out long ago. But for me, there was still hope. There was still hope that he could rediscover the magic, the pure genious that was Thriller, the grand production that was Bad, even the subdued greatness that was Dangerous, HIStory, and yes, even Invincible. There was hope that Number Ones would later have "Vol. 1" attached to its name. That hope is gone. And everyone thinks its a big joke.

But it's ok. It's ok because I'm 23 and I understand that these things happen. I understand that these allegations may not be true, or even more horrifyingly, that they are true. I understand that even pop stars are human, or in some cases, are humans that do inhuman things. I understand that all stars fall.

I'm thankful for Michael's music, his performances, the magic that he brought to the world of entertainment. I'm thankful for the dreams that he inspired. And no matter what is true about him, no one can ever take that away from me. He may turn out to be nothing like I imagined - maybe worse than I could ever imagine. But that can never touch those 23 years of my life, and in that I will never find shame.

I used to write, like, once or twice - sometimes even thrice - a day. Now you're lucky if I write anything on consecutive days. Not that having a piece of 3rd Grade level reading from me necessarily makes you "lucky", but I think you know what I mean.

What is wrong with me? Why can't I just tell you about things like how T-Rav has started hiding his cookies because of the failings of the Cookie Protection System (CPS)? Heck, you probably don't even know what the Cookie Protection System is! And what is so hard about describing the humor in Eric almost missing all of Wednesday night's Doubleheader TV Extravaganza?

I just had a great vacation in Maryland last weekend. Where is any mention of that? Why haven't I told you about my increasingly annoying cat allergies, Beth's inability to finish a meal at Chili's, or our trek through the deep, dark forests of the Mary-land? I would rather move electronic versions of Cobi Jones and Sasha Victorine around a 27" screen than tell you about all that? This just isn't right!

Lots of great stuff has been goin on lately and it's unfortunate that I haven't been sharing it with you.

Wait a minute ... I guess I just did.

Does it seem wrong to anyone else that you should ever have to write a check to your mother, if not just for the simple fact that you might accidently make the check out to "Mom"?

Well, that's it. I just put the finishing touches on my last Wednesday morning assignment of the semester, which means no more extended Tuesday nights, pushing myself into the wee hours of the morning to get a homework done. By no means does it signal the end of pushing myself to the brink of self-inflicted insanity for the semester, but it is a small victory in my battle against graduate school and I just wanted to take this moment to bask in its glory.

I should also point out here that I decided another good way of celebrating would be to fix a small bug in ScribNotes that was, well, bugging me. It's not important what it was, but looking through the code really got me missing the whole coding/obsession thing. It's funny because just the other day I was thinking about how ScribNotes will never really amount to anything, just how small and insignificant it is. But then deep down, I don't think it really bothered me. In fact, it actually made me happy because I realized that I didn't even want it to be big. Sure the so-called fame and fortune would be great, but what I really like about it is that it's mine and I can do whatever I want with it. And my friends can tell me what they want from it. And we can all just sort of use it, even with it's inadequacies, free from the torment of adding overrated, underused features and, subsequently, added cost.

Now I'm just trying to figure out whether I should weather the early morning cold so that I may enjoy the 77 degree day tomorrow in the comfort of shorts. Talk about something the stress about...

Oh, and if you, the reader, happen to be a potential buyer for a young web journaling service with tons of upside, disregard this post.

If I Were Bush's Speechwriter ... by Andy Rooney

Years ago, I was asked to write a speech for President Nixon.

I didn't do that, but I wish President Bush would ask me to write a speech for him now.

Here's what I'd write if he asked me to - which is unlikely:

My fellow Americans - (the word "fellow" includes women in political speeches):

My fellow Americans. One of the reasons we invaded Iraq was because I suggested Saddam Hussein had something to do with the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. No evidence that's so, I wish I hadn't said it.

I said we were going to get Saddam Hussein. To be honest, we don't know whether we got him or not. Probably not.

I said we'd get Osama bin Laden and wipe out al Qaeda. We haven't been able to do that, either. I'm as disappointed as you are.

I probably shouldn't have said Iraq had nuclear weapons. Our guys and the U.N. have looked under every bed in Iraq and can't find one.

In one speech, I told you Saddam Hussein tried to buy the makings of nuclear bombs from Africa. That was a mistake and I wish I hadn't said that. I get bad information sometimes just like you do.

On May 1, I declared major combat was over and gave you the impression the war was over. I shouldn't have declared that. Since then, 215 American soldiers have been killed in Iraq. As the person who sent them there, how terrible do you think that makes me feel?

I promised to leave no child behind when it comes to education. Then I asked for an additional $87 billion for Iraq. It has to come from somewhere. I hope the kids aren't going to have to pay for it - now in school or later when they're your age.

When I landed on the deck of the carrier, I wish they hadn't put up the sign saying MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. It isn't accomplished.

Maybe it should have been MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

I've made some mistakes and I regret it. Let me just read you excerpts from something my father wrote five years ago in his book, ?A World Transformed.?

I firmly believed we should not march into Baghdad ...To occupy Iraq would instantly shatter our coalition, turning the whole Arab world against us and make a broken tyrant, into a latter-day Arab hero ?

This is my father writing this.

...assigning young soldiers to a fruitless hunt for a securely entrenched dictator and condemning them to fight in what would be an unwinnable urban guerrilla war.

We should all take our father's advice.

That's the speech I'd write for President Bush. No charge.

Source: CBS News

I've always been a big fan of Andy Rooney. I used to do a pretty good impression of him, but it's been a while, surely I've lost it. I realize it's just a column, but I think it's brilliant and should some how find it's way into Bush's hands and into his next address to America. I don't agree with everything Bush has done, but I have to believe that he's doing the best job that he can. I have to believe that a man in his position would realize that the choices he makes cannot be about personal vengence and that he can assemble a team around himself that will help him with the most difficult of decisions. But mostly, I have to believe that the President can make mistakes too and that he can admit to them when he has.

I know this is getting old, but I'm guessing this will be the last one ... I have to show public appreciation to Laura A. who sent a completely unexpected, but totally awesome present all the way from the motherland (for those of you not up on U.S. History, that would be England). Laura, I have to be cross with you, though, I told you you weren't allowed to send me anything until I sent something back to you! You are therefore simultaneously in my good graces and in the dog house. Funny thing is, I'm the one that has to do something in order for you to get out of the dog house. Anyway, thanks, now I'm gonna have to run like 5 miles a day to work off the 8 Flakes and Snowflakes you sent me.

Attention All NCSU Students!

T-Rav and I are trying to identify locations of vending machines on campus that carry Cherry Coke. If you know the whereabouts of such machines or are interested in assisting in our search, please leave a message with this post on HollaBack. Thank you for your time and attention.

If Pat Riley can lay claim to the term "three-peat", I'd like to put my application in for a trademark on Two-Out-Of-Three-Peat!!!

And to think, I was considering retirement at the beginning of the season.

I have a couple of take-home tests to work on, but I thought I'd take a minute to finish off some appreciations and then tell you that this has been one of the coolest birthday weekends I've ever had ...

Beth - Thanks for the phone call that was actually on my birthday. I realize (thanks to your help) that I left you off of the appreciation list from Friday, but mostly that was because I was saving the best for last! Anyway, thanks for driving down from the most beautifullest state in the world (during fall) and bein here for my birthday. And thanks for the present. You went way too far.

Dad (Part III) - Thanks for dinner, Dad. You don't read this either but everyone else should know how much appreciated the dinner. You have no idea how much I was craving chinese food. And for those of you who may think I'm being sarcastic, I'm not. It's the simple things. The gift was incredible too. You also went way too far.

Worldwide RN Filipino Basketball team teammates - We did it! We won the championship for the second time in three years, and we went through the filipino league's version of Shaq to do it, also for the second time. Congratulations boys, that was a great way to celebrate the day after my birthday.

Dale Jr. - You hardly know me, but if you only knew how relevant your performance on Sundays is to my emotional state you'd understand how happy I am that you won this weekend. Now maybe if we can just get you to win a race that I'm there for. Maybe next year.

There was a lot more to my weekend that I would love to share but I have limited time. I really need to get my butt in gear so I can have a stress-less Tuesday. Thanks, again, to everyone who helped make this one of the coolest birthdays ever!

Rather than keep updating yesterday's post, I figured I'd just add new "appreciations" with a new post ...

BJ - Thanks for lunch. I hope you had a Happy Halloween

Mom & Tim - Thanks for the gifts, and even the surprise "video game chair" ... It kind of contradicts your constant nagging about me finishing school sometime this century thought though (I don't know why I'm addressing them directly since they don't read this, but I think it has a good effect)

Aunt Kathy - For single handedly ensuring that I won't finish the semester on a good note ... a gift certificate for More Better Purchase¹ which more than covers the cost of FIFA 2004, a DVD, and with a little bit of funds from my own personal "gift fund", the new Ryan Adams cd. The good thing is, all of these come out on Tuesday, the day all of my test taking will be finished until finals.

Andy & Renee - Sorry I couldn't talk longer, but thanks for the birthday greeting. Hope you guys had a wonderful evening.

And the winner of the "Best Birthday Greeting" award and recipient of the coveted Grand Prize if there were such a thing, JDawg, who while offering no more than anyone else in terms of his actual birthday greeting, performed said greeting from the balcony of my apartment upon my return from dinner ... unexpectedly and 400 miles away from his current place of residence in Buffalo, NY. Gotta be one of the all-time greatest birthday surprises ever. Thanks, JDawg.

¹ Name of popular retail chain changed to protect ... well I don't know, I just changed the name for fun.